We appear to be going through a difficult phase with Bella. If you’ve been told that it gets easier as your child gets older, don’t listen, It never gets easier, it just gets harder in different ways. Don’t worry, it’s not all doom and gloom, there are lots of pros to your child growing older, I love the fact that Bella and I can have a proper conversation, when she lets me get a word in edge ways.
This difficult phase apparently has a name, it’s called The F****** Fours. That makes complete sense because, it does feel like Bella is giving me the finger every time I ask her to do anything. Bella has just started at her new nursery and on the second day one of the key workers commented on her confidence and her excellent questioning skills, the word why was used a lot. I bet they needed a strong glass of wine at the end of the day!
Bella often shows no remorse, which can be very frustrating for both of us. She will be as sweet as pie one minute and then set out to annoy Florence as much as possible the next, but when I tell her off and punish her bad behaviour, she’ll lose the plot and throws an almighty self pity party. This tantrum normally drags on and I have to go to my happy place to avoid losing my mind.
One morning Bella came into our bedroom and demanded that I find her Zog book. I politely reminded her that if she wants something, she should find it herself and to have a good look in her box of books. She continued to argue the reasons why she shouldn’t find it for over 45 minutes! I stuck to my guns and in the end she moved one book and found it!
In the past, I’ve definitely notice a change in Bella’s behaviour when she has had a break from preschool. With Christmas, moving house and our trip to Florida, the girls routine has been all over the place, so I’m hoping that now Bella has started at her new nursery, she will stop being such a diva. I’ve been using her 3D Magnetic Big Red Bus Reward Chart from TOTSUP https://www.totsup.co.uk more and this most definitely motivates good behaviour.
Bella is motivated by the good old fashioned, carrot dangling technique, which is why a reward chart works so well. The TOTSUP Big Red Bus Reward Chart, has been a life saver. Each time I feel that she’s behaving well, she gets to choose a person to put on her bus. Once she gets 10 people on her bus, Bella gets to pick what her reward will be, this is normally a teddy of some sort.
If she starts misbehaving, my last resort is to remove a person from her bus and she find this absolutely devastating, but it works! The next time she plays up, just the threat of removing a person from the bus, immediately snaps her out of being Diva Bella. I keep reminding myself that this is all part of a normal process of development and if that fails, a large glass of wine at the end of the day takes the edge off!
If you’re currently dealing with a head strong, manipulative, power tripping, argumentative four-year old, I salute you! Hang in there, you’ve totally got this! And if you feel like you want to throw the towel in, keep telling yourself that the fabulous fives are coming next!